Finally, we found
another form of “intelligent” beings. They’re located on a tiny blue marble
they call Earth. Following protocol, we landed on their schools, disguised
ourselves as the subjects, and explored their lifestyle through food.
These
organisms are complete slobs. Serving sizes are huge and the quality is bad. We
have never seen anyone eat that much food before. Some of the subjects just at
plate after plate like an endless garbage pit.
We don’t even know why they eat
so much. The food is bland and sometimes we didn’t even know what it was. More
often than not there is some sort of ground mystery meat which they call
“tacos” or “chili”. These primitive organisms have yet to evolve into more
sophisticated beings. We don’t understand how anything could like this kind of
stuff. It’s oily, non-nutritious, and just doesn’t taste good. It is amazing
that these students aren’t a bunch of walking balloons.
Something else we
observed was this strange phenomenon at the sandwich maker. The students were
receiving these golden tickets when they made their sandwiches, but not every
student would get one. We believe that this might be an incentive to become
healthier, but we are not completely sure yet. We will continue to observe
until we find the use of these golden tickets.
From eating their
lunch we determined that these organisms are extremely unhealthy, likely to die
off in just a few hundred thousand years making it much easier for us to
colonize the planet. Chances of successful planetary takeover are high.
No comments:
Post a Comment